This Recovering Travel Snob is Now Telling You to "Let People Enjoy Things!"

When I first started traveling as an adult, I proudly took a photo in a red beret in front of the Eiffel Tower — thrilled to have made my travel dream a reality and blissfully unaware that I was probably being judged as a silly American tourist in Paris. This was also before Instagram evolved from a simple photo-sharing app into a place where everyone seems to feel compelled to leave their opinions on everything. You can say "I love waffles" and someone will reply "Oh, so you hate pancakes??"

Why are people like this?

But the more I've traveled, the more snobbish I'd become. I take pride in my 40+ country count while at the same time judging those who've traveled to 100+ countries thinking, "They probably spent like 3 days in each country and call themselves a seasoned traveler." I side-eye people who won't even TRY the local food like, "What are you, four years old?!" And I've thought it's never worth the money to pay so much for a 4 star hotel room that you'll barely use or a $20 taxi when the $2 bus stop is right there!

You've probably seen this debate online: "tourist vs. traveler." People who make comparisons using these terms tend to present two very extreme ways of visiting a new destination:

• The tourist has little to no interest in adapting to the local environment. They've come strictly for the glitz and glamour or to break up the monotony of their home life. They must stay in a 4 to 5 star hotel to feel comfortable. They pack their itinerary with only the most famous tourist attractions — show up, take pictures, and leave. At worst, they leave home only to lament the absence of familiar conveniences and display a sense of entitlement, expecting locals to adapt to their presence. The word tourist has become an insult.

  
  

  And they look like this

• On the other hand, the traveler embraces the destination: immersing in cultural activities, seeking out places where only the locals hang, take public transit (or better yet, the chicken bus!), eat at only small mom and pops or street vendors, and avoiding popular tourist attractions like the plague (or if they do visit, they dare not document it for the Gram like an influencer because aesthetic photos = VAIN)! They're not real tourists — they "live in the moment."

Again, these are two extremes, and I see my judgmental self on both sides.

Here Come the Travel Police....

I was inspired to write this blog post by the many social media posts I see online praising "real travelers" or bashing others' traveling styles. They look like:

• "Get a passport because you're not about to [Miami, Vegas, Atlanta] me to death"

• "I'm not a tourist, I'm a traveler"

• "I don't travel with people who say 'the hotel doesn't matter'"

I've absolutely "liked" posts like this, and even still relate to what some of these people are saying. But with time and being presented different perspectives, I've started to see the harm in what's been referred to as "travel policing."

Recently, I came across one particularly insightful post about travel policing. She talks about how quickly people in the comments of a post judged Indian travelers who cram their itineraries, rush through multiple cities, or only eat familiar home foods, suggesting they aren't real travelers and should just stay home.

I will admit, I'm guilty of hating tourists while also being a tourist. I'll get up at 6AM on vacation to avoid crowds and for better photos. But in my defense, I'm introverted and don't like being around a bunch of people, period. I find crowds overwhelming and the extra noise can distract from the intended atmosphere of the place. I also just come across A LOT of straight-up inconsiderate people (like, sir, WEAR HEADPHONES!!)

I'm also guilty both of being the tourist who packs my itinerary (because why did I come here??) and judging those who don't like to try local foods (I am still working on that). But the woman above presented a perspective I hadn't considered. Think of a person who doesn't travel often; they already feel out of place being faced with hurdles like new languages and cultural norms. Finding familiar food at the end of the day is just one source of comfort among all the changes. Plus, to my shock, there are people who just aren't foodies! I may not understand it, but I can respect it in the same way that people can (hopefully) respect I am just not an adrenaline junkie (no sky-diving or bungee jumping for me, I don't care what anyone says)!

The bigger point in all of this is that travel is indeed a privilege. For citizens of countries with weaker passports, big international trips are far and few between given expensive, lengthy visa processes, difficulty of negotiating time off, and/or lower purchasing power. And although the U.S. passport is strong(ish), many Americans struggle with saving up funds to travel or having enough PTO to do so.

Even if this isn't the case for everyone (I had a well-paying job and 22 vacation days plus 13 holidays), it's still quite a lengthy and relatively expensive plane ride from New York to pretty much every other continent or even other U.S. states ($200+ one way — compare this to the $30 plane ticket I saw from Amsterdam to Porto, Portugal)! This is why many people from the U.S. seem to only travel to the Caribbean, Mexico, or maybe as far as Colombia. And even if we did have a high-speed rail connecting us to Canada, Mexico, and beyond, that trip would take ages — this is a BIG @$S country! I still would've loved to see a high-speed rail in the U.S., but seems that won't be in my lifetime, if ever....

So What's the True Meaning of Travel?

I'm gonna cop out and say "It depends on what you're looking for!" Let's look at my first international solo trip — Lisbon, Portugal. My hostel mates would ask the usual: "How long are you here for? Where to next?" And they were always shocked by my response "4 days, then back home."

*Cue European pity party*

For most people, flying for 6+ hours (plus 2-3 hours of getting to and through the airport PLUS 1-2 hours from landing to get to your hotel) is just not worth it to them unless you're traveling for at least a full week.

If this is how you think, then this is where I want to challenge you. I've taken several trips for 3-5 days each on which I've had a BLAST! And yes, the itinerary was packed, and I sometimes came back exhausted, but it was always worth the experience and memories!  Because what's the alternative? Spending another weekend at home doom-scrolling?

If I hadn't taken that trip to Lisbon in 2021, I would've never met my Brazilian friend who invited me to her home in Brazil two year later, and with whom I again met up in Tokyo last year! I never would've made another friend with whom I got to experience the amazing nightlife in Berlin in 2024!

All because I took a measly little four day vacation!

Some people may say "Oh, that's great! See, you ARE a real traveler! You made friends and didn't focus so much on touristy things!" Except I did ALL the touristy things in Lisbon! Check this blog post - 4 Days in Lisbon, to learn more. There's no shame in my touristy game!

But I could have just as well chilled for 4 days at a Caribbean resort, enjoying a new environment and being away from responsibilities. I won’t lie though, learning not to judge people who spend money just to relax has been another mindset shift for me. I was very much the "Why spend money to lounge around all day when I can do that at home?!" This is another privileged viewpoint I've recently realized I had. Currently living at home with family as I re-stabilize from backpacking, I'd love nothing more than to have a space to myself for just a few days (well, forever if I'm being real), but I understand now how people raising a family or who have roommates or loud neighbors may want to just get away at any cost. Home is not always a sanctuary for everyone else like it was for me when I had my own quiet(ish) apartment. I have an ex who used to say he wants a house that's like a mile away from any surrounding homes and thought he was a psycho. Now I realize I may be too because that sounds awesome now!

The reason YOU travel is personal. For me, traveling is discovering through my own lens what makes that place shine. I am part of the "hotel doesn't matter" crew...as long as it's safe and clean. But I will always seek out the cutest option and pay a little extra within reason, say, for a balcony or nice view! However, the ultimate goal for me as a tourist is to actually immerse in the country I spent my time and money to see, so I prioritize spending on activities and delicious food over the hotel. Some people prioritize the opposite, because that's what makes them happy!

The destination you choose and the people you go with also set the vibe for your vacation. In other words, there is no fixed way to travel. When I'm solo, I'm much more open to cultural immersion, meeting new people, and taking my time to get aesthetic photos and story-telling videos. When traveling with others, I try to be more focused on the memories we create rather than pressuring myself to do everything I would if I were alone or with travel-compatible people. Finally, I am all about taking advantage of what a specific destination has to offer, whether its relaxation, outdoor adventures, historic architecture, or specific activities I can't readily do at home!

Now let's put aside traveling for the culture. You can travel to simply view famous monuments without any context, eat food that fits your palette, and just breathe different air without the pressure of diving into some deeper meaning.

Blending Merriam-Webster's and Cambridge Dictionary's definitions:

Tourist (n.) - a person who travels and visits places for pleasure, culture, or interest

You probably can agree that the traveler typically falls under this definition, and that's perfectly fine! Many countries thrive on tourism and are happy to welcome tourists and share with them their culture and hospitality. However, it's the entitled, clueless, and straight up disrespectful tourists that give us all a bad rap. To avoid this label being stamped on you, I feel these things are the least you can do to ensure you're not the type of tourist that the locals hate to see coming.

5 Ways to Be Like Good Tourist

1. Remember, you are a visitor in someone else's homeland. Respect local people and customs. Remove shoes and/or cover up when visiting temples/mosques. Don't call unfamiliar things locals do "weird." Also, learn the laws beforehand! Don't try to sneak illegal things into the country, even if it seems harmless to you. In some places, public displays of affection or even spitting out chewing gum can get you hefty fines or jail time.

2. Check your entitlement — don't express frustration because the store won't accept returns or because a hotel won't let you check in early or check out late. Wear headphones, don't take calls on speakerphone, and don't get upset that everyone doesn't speak English!

3. Support local businesses! In addition to famous and aesthetic restaurants, try some local-owned restaurants and cafes. Buy souvenirs at a local market instead of at the airport. If you're not trying to rack up hotel points, stay in a lovely bed & breakfast or boutique hotel run by locals instead of a chain hotel.

4. As a tourist, expect to pay the tourist tax. I'm honestly not looking for ways to pay the lowest I can. When I went to Cuba in 2018, there were two currencies, one specifically for tourists (1 CUC = $1 USD) vs. locals (24 CUP = $1 USD). The same things priced in both currencies could be a 10x difference. I could get CUP on the black market, however, do I really need to pay 40 cents for an ice cream that I can afford to spend $2 on?

5. You certainly don't need to be fluent in another language before traveling. Technology has made it easier than ever to communicate with almost anyone! There's no way I would've gotten around Korea, Japan, or Vietnam alone otherwise! However, making an effort to learn simple words in the local language goes a long way - I suggest "hello", "please", "thank you", "where is this?" and "toilet." Even at resorts, it could maybe even get you cool points with staff ;-)

   
   

   Bonus: Respect your fellow tourists! Everyone wants to have a positive experience. Wait your turn in line for that amazing shot with that super touristy monument. Show up on time for excursions, reservations, etc.

Anyway, I will always travel for my own curiosity and pleasure, as should you. I'll hike a volcano, take a cooking class, or join some locals in the park for tai chi, but you bet your @$s I'm also going to take pictures in front of the Eiffel Tower!

Next time, without the beret. But hey, I'm a tourist, so LET ME ENJOY THIS!

What's your stance on this traveler vs tourist debate? How else can someone be a "good tourist"? Share your thoughts in my comments, and SUBSCRIBE for more blog posts coming your way, at least twice a month!

In Defense of Tourist Attractions: Why It’s Okay to Do the “Touristy” Things; Why Doing Tourist Things Is Actually the Best Way to Travel; Stop Avoiding Tourist Attractions: They’re Popular for a Reason; Why It’s Okay to Be a Tourist (Even If You Want to Travel Like a Local); Tourist vs Traveler: Why It’s Okay to Do the Famous Things